I dig out the baby
buggy, dust it off and ‘tah dah’ the perfect puppy transportation device. Not
really- she spends the entire trip trying to fling herself over the side to...
yes you got it... to walk! Get some funny looks I tell you, but who can blame
them? A woman pushing a buggy whilst frantically trying to keep an over excited
large puppy inside. I consider strapping her in!
That is just the start of the humiliation of puppy training.
It had to be the way didn’t it? Everyone else has small, cute and well behaved
pups. We arrive with a giant puppy that has too much energy and a tendency to
do the opposite of what has been asked (bit like kids I think). Again, we get a
pack of information to read through- no warnings in this pack either. The
following week they go around the room asking every owner what tricks their
angelic puppies have learnt this week: ‘my puppy has learnt to roll over’ and
‘my puppy has learnt to go to the toilet in the garden’ (makes me cringe as I
think of the explosions happening in my house).
Then it is my turn. I am so proud I could burst, ‘My puppy
ran after a stick I threw and brought it back. Isn’t she clever?’ The entire room
goes quiet, everyone stares at me in disbelief. ‘What? What have I done now?’ I
go through events in my mind in a panic trying to work out what I did wrong
this time and come up with nothing. ‘Ahem, did you not read the information in
the pack you got last week?’ The panic has truly set in now! You are meant to
actually read everything in the packs? Nobody said it was compulsory! I have
been too busy cleaning up poo and wee to read! I am sleep deprived and haven’t
had a proper meal in a week! So I lie, I am ashamed to admit it but it is self
preservation that kicks in. ‘Yes, of course I did read the pack. Why?’ I ask
innocently. Then the trainer pulls out the article entitled: the dangers of throwing
sticks for dogs.
It dawns on me slowly: I am the bad mother in the group and
people are feeling sorry for my puppy. Poor girl, hope she makes it to next
week’s class without being impaled by a stick or being crushed by the wheels of
a buggy!
Can't wait to real the next installment :-)
ReplyDeleteyour such a bad doggie mama!